Saturday, December 25, 2010

Tis' the season...for different

It is coming to the end of Christmas day. This year was different for me. I admittedly felt a bit empty this holiday season. My kids were with their dad for Christmas morning. I requested Santa to come early on Christmas Eve was different. Different is good. I don't mind different. But getting used to different is hard. Last year seemed easier for some reason. I think I had so much distraction with getting ready to travel with the kids and my niece to Florida that I didn't mind the changes so much.

This year I felt as if I was missing something. I don't know what it was. My thoughts went to family and thinking a bit about the past. For so many years I tried to create "family" here with my own. Now "my family" is different. I know it's ok. I know my kids have adjusted. I know I have found someone new to discover their traditions, but it's just...different.

For just this moment I will not think too much about the past. For just this moment I will not wonder too much about the future. For just this moment I will feel grateful for Jesus and praise God for the birth of his only Son. For just this moment I will feel comfort in His arms and cherish the quiet that surrounds me this day. For just this moment I know that tomorrow will soon come...

Merry Christmas dear friends!

Much Love,

Friday, October 22, 2010

When life hands you lemons...

Dear Friends,
It's been an interesting life. Ever wonder why? What's the purpose for all of this? I do. Maybe all too often. I think too much. I've come to understand that I am not alone either in that regard. Many of us do. We move about day to day as human beings wondering - what's the point?. We make plans for tomorrow, next month, next year without even realizing it. Then getting to tomorrow, next month, next year asking ourself...what happened to my plans? Why haven't things changed? It's frustrating...the mystery of life and planning.

I don't have any insight. I think I'm just venting today. Feels like a good day for that. I know tomorrow will come regardless of a plan or not. That is one of God's promises and I am grateful. Kinda tired of planning. Think I'll just roll with today and see what tomorrow brings. I think I'll just be still with my life, make no big plans and see what it brings. Feels like a good day for this today.

When life hands you lemons...what can you make with it? Today...just for today...I think I'll make some lemonade with a lot of sugary sweetness and just sit back and enjoy it.


Saturday, September 25, 2010


It's been an "ironic" kinda month. Really I don't believe in irony. I believe in fate, destiny, God's's all for a reason and meaning. I believe much of my summer went on hold for a reason...I wasn't fulfilling my purpose. Funny how when you really listen closely to that quiet voice inside you - everything works itself out. All you have to do is listen and follow.

I am big on praying. I have experienced prayers being answered. Miracles have happened. Wishes have been fulfilled. Dreams have become reality. I've learned a lot about myself lately. I am always open to learning from my mistakes and things happening to me. It's an opportunity to learn more about who I am.

Over the years, many have told me that I am an inspiration. That there is something big for me. I have felt it. Much is coming to surface now. I have had to experience drastic change to move my Self. I have heard that voice loudly tell me...NOW Jennifer. So why not?! No better time than now. No more putting off what He wants for my life. He has told me that there are great gifts at the end and all of my dreams will be filled. Who wouldn't want that?

It's coming soon...very soon. Tons of inspiration...that's what I'm suppose to do. Inspire others. Years ago I defined my possibilities...I am love, joy, inspiration, happiness, vitality. I have found most - vitality is the last and final possibility for me to be complete with. The fatigue and fog comes and goes still. But I see and feel it is possible to have it all. Why not?! That is His greatest gift. So I will continue to follow the reach the reality of the dreams.

The sun is shining down this morning. There are gifts in everything around us. Just stop and look at them and say "thank you".


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Call me crazy...

I just recently have been receiving a small publication in the mail called "Angels". It's a Guidepost publication. I don't subscribe to anything nor did I ever fill anything out to start receiving this lil' book. I don't know how long they have been coming here as I have never even opened them...before now.

About a week ago I got a letter from them saying they were sorry that I may have missed some and thanking me for subscribing and contacting them about not receiving them. First, I did not ever subscribe to it. Nor did I ever contact them about getting these as I thought maybe they were free and just got my name off some list. They come addressed to J Ford - pretty generic. Anyhow, after getting this letter from them I flipped open the lil' Angel book that was on the table to see if they cost anything. And they do. So I started to read this one. Funny...God is funny...(I say this now because nothing is ironic) they are short stories from everyday people who have had encounters with Angels. The message became very clear to me. I have dabbled in writing about some of my own experiences but have kept Angels out of it since I haven't had a good understanding as to why some things happen to me.

Anyway...I'm rambling. This early morning I was sitting outside with my coffee having my "me time". As I looked up I saw these fuzzy figures in front of my eyes. They were close and dancing all around me. I closed my eyes to see if they'd go away and if it was just me and I was having a vision issue or not. I opened my eyes again to see more of them. I squinted to make sure I was right in what I was seeing. They were gracefully flowing around my head within my eyes view. If I turned my head they moved along with me then moved back. I will draw them out soon so you can see them. They were amazing! I started to laugh like a giggly school-girl and they danced even faster.

I know...I know. Now for those who know me - yes, some would call me crazy. I may even call myself crazy at times. I tend to be flighty with too much going on in my head. I tend to be overly-optimistic. But overall my reasoning skills kick in and everything I experience I look for a reason to make some sense of it. This is who I am. I have only recently realized that I am able to be true to myself and believe...have faith...and (Maybe soar is more like it should be but for now it' You'll understand soon what I'm talking about...very soon.

Thanks for reading, following and compassionately understanding:)


Sunday, August 15, 2010

JFord Designs: Sharing...

JFord Designs: Sharing...: "I am on a much needed vacation from my realities in York, PA and having a chance to sit in sunny, humid Florida at a good friend's home. S..."

Saturday, August 14, 2010


I am on a much needed vacation from my realities in York, PA and having a chance to sit in sunny, humid Florida at a good friend's home. She is mommying me as I need right now and taking care of my children to see that I get some much needed r & r. There are times in our lives when we need to be mommied. My original plan was to vist my dad and step mom this weekend but I felt this was where I needed to be. She understands me...and that's who I needed to share with this weekend.

Anyhow, I'm spending my quiet time outside near the pool...reading, journaling, facebooking to see what others are up to. I felt the need to share something that I'm reading. This book fell into my hands a few weeks ago..."Living on the Edge" by Chip Ingram. It will be a church-wide study that we will be doing this fall at Asbury UMC in York, PA. I will be very involved as this book resonates with me at this point of my life and my journey to know what it really means to call yourself a Christian. Anyway, this is the part I am reading...

"When we are unclear or have a distorted view of ourselves, we tend to compare our differences rather than appreciate them. We compete with one another rather than realizing we were made different (by divine design) so that we might complement and support one another. It is in our insecurities that make us want to compare our gifts or talents with others. The result is always negative as we conclude that we are either superior or inferior." (Living on the Edge by Chip Ingram) a gifted-creative individual this hits me. I can't tell you how many years I have felt that "I wasn't good enough". Didn't matter how many people told me I was...when it comes to my designing I go back to being a 12 yr old and hearing my dad say..."It's ok...but you can do better." How many years did I let that hold me back?! I still do it today with comparing the art that I love like KellyRae Roberts (gotta look her up) and other inspirational artists. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I heard my spirit loudly and told me..."Be true to who you are Jennifer...just as God created you to be...and share it with"

Who I am is simple. My life is a bit complicated but overall I am simple. I like simple things, my designs are simple and graphic in nature, my love is simple. I am creative, eccentric, inspirational, love, hope, faith, goodness, kindness, peace, serenity, compassion, understanding, meaningful... This is who I am. Who I was...she is no longer. She is just a memory.

I'll leave you with one final thought... "Take the leap and...have faith." Coming soon:)

Much Love & Blessings,

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Hello's been a long time...

Six months since my last post. Time sure does fly by...having fun or not.

Here I stand (or sit really) over a year later from dealing with some of the most horrific events of my life (so far). I have watched many people come and go and I'm sure many more in the future.

I woke at 5am this morning. Only God knows why. I have a lot on my mind I guess you can say. Mostly I was sticking to my sheets and just couldn't deal with it any longer. (Enter crazy thoughts of that being a symptom of Lymphoma and this is the week for another CT scan follow up. Is it back? Please God no!) I google every ache and pain now. Maybe I've become a bit obsessed over the past 5 years with health concerns. But when you don't feel yourself and no blood test tells you otherwise you start to go a little obsessive.

Anyhow, I have no idea why I'm here or what I'm going to blog about. I feel as if I have accomplished nothing in this past year but waste time and blew the money I had. Now once again I'm standing at a crossroad. 39 years old and this sucks! Yes, I've been reminded that I have accomplished a lot. So please don't email me or post that I need to look at the brighter side. I do look at the brighter side. Ok, sometimes the overly optimistic, faithful to the core side...and when you get get frustrated.

Here is where I will tell you all the things I am grateful for in my life:
• My fabulous children who keep me going everyday!
• My daughters silliness and the bond that we have with each other.
• My son and the leaps and bounds he has done in maturing his behavior towards me.
• My dear friends who continue to try and help me with words of encouragement.
• My parents who have their own aging health issues at hand but still support me in any way possible.
• My soon-to-be-ex-husband (takes forever for a divorce) and his sacrifices for us to keep on. Even in a sucky economy.
• My dear new friend and confidant:) You have shown me that I am lovable. Ok, maybe the whole package is hard to accept completely but atleast I know that I am lovable and capable to fully love, trust and accept someone...someday...if and when:)

I'd say I'm grateful for the house, the car, the food on the table but...well...we all are and those are so small to me at this time. The house for one thing...has to get sold. It has sucked me dry this year. The car...well...that is a sore reminder of a past mistake and still costs me each month...and more than it should. The is essential. And I am grateful that each day I can make a meal for myself and my children and pray to God for the gratitude of nourishment to our bodies. (ok...maybe a little too much since I've pack on a few extra pounds lately and am cruelly reminded of how easy it is to put on and how stinking hard it is to get 39! LOL)

Well, maybe this is what I was suppose to do this morning. Vent! Vent to all of you who read this blog. The crossroads? I have to find a full-time job at this point and simplify my life. I do love my business but I can do that on evenings and weekends. So...should anyone know of something...I am OPEN. There I have said it! Now let the doors of opportunity fly open and expel possibility all over.

Thank you dear friends!

Monday, January 25, 2010


Tomorrow is my 39th birthday. It is a day of celebration with those closest to me. I find myself reflecting today about my gifts and how grateful and blessed I am. I celebrate having yesterday, today and tomorrow in this body and mind. I celebrate how each day has defined me for the woman I am. I celebrate myself with my two children who have blessed me to be a mom and take on "mom's taxi mini van" with pride. I celebrate with family as I see and define it - my niece who has come to live with me and allow me to share my wisdom with her. I celebrate gifts of openness, compassion, encouragement, joy, happiness, patience, inspiration, kindness, letting go, sharing and more. But most importantly I celebrate LOVE. Love of another in a way that I was unable to love before. The love of a man that I now know how to accept love in return from. I celebrate this year with a heart that is so full that it is bursting with love. So many holes in my heart have been filled by him and two young boys. I celebrate how fortunate we all are that I have had the past experiences that I had and can now truly open my heart unconditionally to love and be the woman, mother, mentor, friend that I was meant to always be.
As Valentine's Day comes soon, consider who and how you will show your love to the ones you love the most. This is the year to find your sappiness and express your love in every way possible. You may be surprised what gifts you will get in return.

Many Blessings,